Complimenting someone can be more than it's cracked up to be so as your trusted Atlanta Matchmaker we're here to help. Think of the last time you wanted to say something nice to someone. First, there's the pressure of actually deciding what you want to say, then saying it in the correct manner as not to make yourself look completely awkward or creepy, then worrying about how the recipient will take it? Will they read into it negatively? Will they show their hidden low self esteem and try and correct you, invalidating everything you've worked up the courage to tell them? What. A. Nightmare. Here are a few suggestions to successful and tasteful flattery:
Never let the words "cute, hot, nice, sexy, fine, etc." come out of your mouth unless you're trying to describe something with as little substance as those words portray. When certain people hear compliments about themselves, they automatically feel a little embarrassed and put off because all of the attention is focused on them, so make sure you leave the cheesy laziness locked away at home, and choose to say something more meaningful and sincere, ie. "You're smile is so warm and beautiful," or "that shirt brings out the brilliant blue/green/hazel in your eyes!"
Another really important addition to compliment a man or woman is to validate the most precious thing they can give to you: their time. When you say something like "I'm so happy to have met you!", it will likely be received with warmth and gratitude for the recognition that building a relationship, platonic or romantic, takes time, nurture, and patience, and no one wants any of those things to go unnoticed.
In my research, one of the most logically simple, but deafeningly strong quotes I've come across is: "It takes confidence and self-esteem to notice good things about others, and to make the first caring move to tell them about it. -Alvin Soon, Life Coaches Blog" Giving someone a compliment, and meaning it, can be very rewarding, but don't forget to have 110% confidence in what you're saying just in case you do get a defensive backfire from the recipient, and keep in mind, don't always expect a "thank you"½ sometimes people don't have confidence in themselves to accept a genuine admiring comment; revel in the fact that you probably made their day brighter anyways.
Since it's the 21st century, we sometimes get lost in the world of technology, and this hinders our ability to communicate properly a LOT of the time. If you want to be sincere in the things you say, then say it to their face! By complimenting someone in-the-flesh, you're already superseding anyone using text, email, or IMs because what you're saying is automatically more genuine in their eyes. Being "old fashioned" will never lose its allure because of the positive impact it has on personal relationships.
So next time you're stuck on the line whether or not to compliment your date or significant other, focus on what you want to say, build some confidence, and speak your mind!
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